Have you ever given much though to how you want to be disposed of?  I suppose that sounds morbid, so let’s try this, how you would like to be buried?  Better  yet, how much would like to spend on your funeral?  The National Funeral Director’s Association tells us that in 2009, the average cost of a funeral was $7,775. (Statistics-National Funeral Directors) Really?  $7,775 to stick a dead body in a box in the ground. Does it  honestly matter what happens to your body when you die?  A funeral is meant to celebrate the life of the person who died and bring closure to  family and friends.  So why does it have to cost $7,775 to provide a little closure?  There has to be some options out there for cost-conscience corpses  and frugal families of the world.

Honestly, this is a subject that I have looked into before and have a mindset of what I want to have done to provide closure for my family, dispose of my body cheaply, and have a little party.  Funerals are sad and depressing, so I would rather go out with a bang.  My recent hospital stay and heart catheterization  started me thinking once again about funeral costs and how my frugal (severely cheap ass)  would like mine handled.  The most frugal was to deal with death is to donate the

I don't want to be a zombie!

body to science.  The school or facility that accepts the body will use it for a certain amount of time and then will most likely return it to the family cremated.  While this doesn’t give the family immediate closure with a body (cremated) present, the family could still have a small service.  I am all for cheap and this would be my preferred way to go, but no way anyone in my family would ever donate my body to science.  The second most cost-effective way to save money on a funeral would be to become a zombie, but I just don’t see that happening either.  I’m not really big on eating the flesh of other human beings.

In Kansas City, there is a local mortician who will provide crematorium services and an urn for under $1,000.  Probably the only cheaper way to get this service would be to utilize the wood pile that we burn every year in the backyard and I somehow imagine that would be illegal.  So, cremation in Kansas City it is!  After the urn is safely delivered home to my family, then they can plan a nice BBQ or some other kind of party.  A Halloween theme would be great!  The kids would love bobbing for apples. They could even make my ash-filled urn the centerpiece on the table.  Don’t worry folks, my family would be too creeped out to ever do that.  In fact, I told my hubby that he could just display my urn on the fire-place mantel and he was mortified.  Watch out honey!  I’ve got my eyes on you….


“Informs, Educates, Advocates.” Statistics-National Funeral Directors. National Funeral Directors Association, 2011. Web. 22 Oct 2011. <http://www.nfda.org/about-funeral-service-/trends-and-statistics.html

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