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The shirt from Hell

There is a shirt that I absolutely love.  It fits great, shows off my cleavage without making me look like an over-aged tramp, and hides the bulges well.  I wish that every shirt that I own fit me so smoothly.  It is one of kind and I have never found one that I love as much and doubtfully never will.  However, there is a problem with this shirt, it is doomed to always have some sort malodorous issue.  Basically, there is something that always happens to it to make it smelly.

The first time I had a problem with the shirt I kept walking around work and couldn’t figure out where the terrible smell was coming from. It was hideous!  It smelled as if a cat had peed in my work area and there was no way that cat was in the building.  It didn’t take long for me to figure out that it was me.  We had a young male cat at the time that hadn’t been spayed yet.  Apparently he sprayed my shirt to mark his territory while it was sitting on my chair in the bedroom.  Thank God one of my friends had an extra shirt at work that I wore the rest of the day.  The cat no longer lives with us.

I didn’t wear the shirt for quite some time after that because I was paranoid of being “smelly”.  It’s one thing to be a little sweaty after a long day, but to smell like cat pee?  I don’t think so.  A few months went by and I was brave enough to wear my favorite shirt.  As the morning went by at work: I realized then that my shirt was cursed.  It smelled like mildew.  Apparently the shirt was not completely dry when I hung it in my closet, giving that lovely damp odor.  I couldn’t wait to go home at lunch and change.

Why this shirt?  Does someone have it out for me, not want me to look semi-attractive in a flowing, feminine blouse?  For a long time now the shirt has sat in my laundry room, freshly washed, but never worn.  For the record, I use Tide and Bounce for my laundry and natural detergent for my husbands.  So everything always smells good. Well, this morning I thought “What the heck”.  I had to run to Amber’s and decided to wear it with my sweats.  Yep, you guessed it right.  By the time I got to Amber’s I realized that something had once again got on the shirt giving it some weird smell.  Guess it’s time to finally just put it in the trash where it should of went the first time.

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